I can't tell you how many times in my life I've heard it ... "Tell the truth and shame the devil!"
So here's the truth ... I'm about ready to rip somebody's head off today. There. I said it! It sure felt good to say it. I suppose it could be that nasty time of the month when all women want to take somebody's head off, but for me personally ... after a truly wonderful and exhilarating weekend, I came home to problems that you know what? ... I just don't want to deal with.
I've got better things to do with my time than take up precious minutes and hours worrying about what one or two or a group of people think about decisions that have already been made.
At 51, I no longer want to deal with crap. I want things to run smoothly ... people to be reasonable ... see how hard I work ... how hard others work ... contribute and make our dreams come true, not tear down weeks of effort and drive on the part of those put into the position to do the job.
I know, I'm living in a fantasy world.
I'm still learning at 51 ... that even working at home I still have to put up with crap.
I want to feel justified in my anger ... but I'm hurt.
I want to feel like all my work has counted for something ... instead of being scorned at.
I want to believe people appreciate hard work, improvements, changes for the good of the many and not just a few ... but all I hear is discord.
I want people to see our courage, our dilligence, our dedication to make it better ... but all they see is "if it's not broke, don't fix it."
So today, I'll tell the truth and shame the devil ... I'd like to find a place where all I have to do is never answer a phone or an e-mail but once or twice a week. Find a room where I can write my stories ... dig in and hole up for a few months and shut the world away.
A dream for many, I'm sure.
I want to be Virginia Woolf.
But when the human element is involved, the devil is always around the corner. And even after we've shamed him, we must endeavor to finish we we've started and keep him at bay.
So tomorrow, I start again. Overlook it all and finish my course.
Thanks for letting me scream a little.
Blessings to you and yours.